Many women dread their yearly mammogram; if not for the sheer fact that their breasts get flattened like a pancake, certainly for the possibility that they may receive bad news or "the call back" for further testing.

Having dense breast tissue, I get "the call back" more times than not. Typically, I endure more boob squishing and ultrasounds, before being told that all is well. I then get placed on the six-month-call-back list for a year or two, and with each negative exam, I get put back on the normal yearly exam protocol. It has been a pattern I have come to expect, yet I still experience a small amount of anxiety each time I get a "call back".

Several times throughout the years, my intuition convinced me that I had breast cancer, only to find out that I was wrong. As a result, I have come to realize that I can no longer trust my gut-feeling to be accurate, which actually led to more angst when I was called back for further testing after my last mammogram.

Wearing a warm white robe like all the other women, I sat in the quiet waiting area observing the expressions as each women exited the mammogram area. Some smiled as they passed through the seating area towards the locker area, while others solemnly returned to a chair to wait for their test results. I had to return to my seat twice on that day.

My thoughts were swirling along with my emotions: "If I have cancer, at least they caught it early." "It's probably going to be fine like all the other times." "They haven't seen calcifications like these one's in the past, so it must be something." "Having a few calcifications is normal, so stop worrying." With each passing minute, another thought and subsequent emotion passed through me.

Finally, I stopped myself long enough to realize what I was doing and I was able to shift my internal dialogue... "Here’s a thought..sit with the uncertainty...the absolute truth that you don’t know which way things will go...stop trying to figure it out and just practice being in the moment. Stop future tripping and just be... breath...trust your ability to deal with whatever happens."

I immediately felt better and more in control. I focused on trusting in my ability to cope regardless of the outcome. Then I distracted myself for another ten minutes until my name was called. I received the news that I likely don't have cancer, but I will need to come back in six months to watch the very tiny cluster of calcifications.

I compassionately smiled at the ladies as I passed through the waiting room. I was again reminded to appreciate today for all that is good because we are all only a diagnosis away from receiving tough news.